Tue, May 24th, 2005 

Saw it three nights in a row, starting with the midnight screening last Wednesday night/Thursday morning. Call me what you will. I have no shame.  Here's my opinion in a nutshell:

Awesome? Yes.

Flawless? Nope.

Better than the preceeding prequels? Leaps and bounds.

Least favorite moments (in no particular order):

"She can't be dead. Nooooooooooo!!!!" And speaking of which...

"Medically, she's fine, but we're losing her." - "She's lost the will to live."  Huh?! So, you're telling me that it had nothing to do with the fact that DV was just strangling the shit out of her?!

That whole "I've-forsaken-everything-I-stand-for-to-embrace-pure-evil" thing was awfully swift. Shouldn't that have been a slightly more gradual process? "Hence forth, you shall be known as Dahth Vayduh. Now get outta here!"

Yoda just books it without any decisive offensive move on Palpatine's part! They're fighting and then Yoda falls. But instead of jump back into the brawl, he just splits and explores the a.c. ducts?!! WTF?!!! Maybe if a swarm of clones had filed into the room to back up Palpy, effectively outnumbering Yoda, I would have bought his retreat. Come on, dude. You're one of the most Powerful Jedi since Teddy Roosevelt. Kick some ass!!!

Anakin: "You're so beautiful"
Padme: "I'm beautiful because I'm in love."
Anakin: "No. You're beautiful because I love you."
Pee Wee: "I know you are but what am I?!"

Most favorite moments (in no particular order):

R2 kickin ass! I could fall on the other side of the fence on this one and be one of those guys who are like, "Fuck that! He never did that kinda shit in the old ones!" Well, ya' know what? That's only because they didn't have the technology to make him do that shit back then. If ILM was rockin' the CGI magic back in the day, those Jawas would've still made off with R2, but only after four or five of them were laid to waste by R2's death from above flame job karate chops. HASSAH!!!

Yoda slamming those Imperial guards into the wall still gave me an erection even the third time I saw it.

Wookies. Wookies. Wookies. Not much screen time but shit, man. Ever since I read way back in the day that the Return of the Jedi battle was suppossed to be with wookies, I've been fantasizing about shitloads of Chewies running around, fuckin' shit up. Not only did I get that, but I actually got Chewie!
Another example of the "small galaxy" complaint?  Yeah, but I'm gonna view this like the R2 thing and just enjoy it.

The space battle was badass. I don't think I need to elaborate on this any further. It's pretty self-explanatory.

Ian McDiarmond's Palpatine is the best acting in the whole movie. This guy is awesome! Subtle and nuanced in his creepiness as he gradually amps it up over the course of the film until he hits an eleven on the "fuckin' crazy" meter. This guy is the penultimate movie villan. Don't fuck with him. During that scene when Mace Windu and co. try to arrest him, Palpy brings new meaning to the term, "Diplomatic Immunity."

And, obviously, the final duel between Obi Wan and Darth Vader. This is the stuff of legend! I totally dug the whole vibe of Obi-Wan dutifully going out to clean up the mess that Anakin had become. He didn't want to do it, but he had to. Ewan McGreggor totally sold that. And the way he chastised Vader with that "You-gotta-be-out-yo'-damn-mind" tone of voice was so cool. He was never intimidated by the newly appointed Sith's "I'm the most powerful motherfucker in the galaxy" rhetoric. He just went in there and spanked the shit outta him. Then, as the little fucker's laying there, sans legs, yelling' "I hate you", Obi-Wan is practically on the verge of tears as he's like, "Dude, you were my bro! What the fuck happened?!" That's the closest Lucas has come in the entire prequel trilogy to delivering raw, emotional tragedy that I actually bought into. Cheers, dude. You gave us nothing but bland, emotionless automatons in almost every other scene, but you knocked this one outta the park!

And there you have it. That's what I thought of the damn thing. Now it's all over and, as Kevin Smith wrote in his recent Rolling Stone article, "...we can all finally stop talking about fucking Star Wars."

That is, at least until the "Super Special 3D IMAX Rumble-Seat Smell-o-vision Gimme More Money Ultimate Editions" come out in a few years. 

May the Force be with you.


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